There was a moment — Before I fell

Still standing — Now in blackout

Plummeting towards the floor

My mind wanders off

Fearing the impact

Transported to childhood memories

Leaning forward chairs

On a precipice — Close to tragedy

There was safety then,

Hands to hold me back from the edge

I am older now — in freefall.

Aiming for some soft ground

Hoping to stick the landing

I want to stand in busy streets.

Where unfamiliar faces meet.

Feel the rush, as they pass.

In their hurry, Moving fast

You would think it commonplace,

To see each entire face.

Nowadays that’s quite a task

As every face wears a mask

Take me back before it started,

When life was not for broken hearted.

Theres places to see, people to be

Every soul aching — Can I be free?

We are at the beginnings and end.

Of the same circle, my friend.

The earth will fall at your feet

The we can fill — every.empty.street.

Through wet marshland

Gawking at the farm hand

Stood in off white glory

Still and graceful

Every slow movement

Careful and correct

Water fly’s off at pace

while wide wings spread

Almost military March

Awkwardly bent – arched

Picture of beauty and poise

Grey herring makes noise

A Reply to ‘O Captain, My Captain’ by Walt Whitman

My love, My love – On dangerous sea.

Do you smile when you think of me?

O, I have stood on windy shores.

Screaming your name into the void,

I am yours for evermore.

O, Pain, pain, pain – Fills my cold heart!

Battered broken ship returns – I run to you

I dreamt of this day since your journeys start

searching the solemn, saddened faces for yours

Where have you been – what have you seen –

Our son I see with tears in his eye

My lungs lose all air, as I see where you lie

Cold, dead, at the feet of our child

O, my love, my love – come back to me

Lost without you in this wilderness.

I curse those serpent tongues – killers

They dare speak your name in whispers

O, my anger would have me strike them down!

But love, O, my love – you would temper me.

You would sing me songs of love, of joy.

Now, I stand on those same shores

Still I am yours, Still I must go on

I see you in the face of our darling son

He wishes with all his heart to fill your shoes.

Your journey ended, his hath begun.

I remember the day you left

We walked in the park

Sat on the bench – overlooking a pond

You spun me an old tale

It’s not you, it’s me

I listened – normally I don’t

Seemed important – too little — too late

Endeavoring to change – knowing I won’t

Wondering if I could – If I should

Love me as I am – echoed in the silence

Somewhere in the middle of heartbreak

I spotted a butterfly

Closing my eyes – accepting my fate

Imagining my metamorphosis

My next self – beautiful – transformed

A tear rolls down my face

It’s not for you, it’s for me

They watch me – You know

Beady eyes – follow shallow steps

I creep tipped toe, holding tongue

Fearing verbal lashing, I cannot withstand

Infuriated when they speak

Sharp words cut like razors

Bleeding my energy – my time

Weak – Tired – Defeated

Don’t tell me – Won’t listen

When I have tried – I have failed.

Health is wealth – I AM BANKRUPT

Mental states declaring dissolution

Only piece left of ME — A rose tree

Blooming, where I buried it deep

   Sweat and tears, built walls around it

Thorns that keep me safe

Let them all come

Blood will be spilt

Upon the soil

Making the land richer

And I

Will rise again with season

Yesterday’s leaves have fallen,

Concealing grounds below

Bare and barron trees

Changing scenery we know

We walk in Cold, damp field

Legs wet from dew drops

Re-telling stories, days past

By a low wall – look to empty land

Wander – onto greener pastures

Passing flowers, breaking dead leaf

Searching, hoping, for sun

Winter cannot kill the light

Spring has sprung

A day to bloom

Read, write, articulate – Consume

Pen to paper – Become creator

Step out into cities

Take roads less gravelled

Sun is beaming, fat cats scheming

You’re here dreamin’

Started big – thinking small

Life is long – get through it all

Cold mountains to cool sea breeze

Out to find your Ulysses.